A code to live by

COMING SOON!!!!

I would like to be Hank Hill....but am Clark Griswold

The Stout men have a tendency to be Clark Griswold, or at least all the ones that I know.  An overzealous bunch, with a knack for creating a catastrophe out of the smallest household chore.

I am no different.  Last night I tried to install a wall shelf from IKEA.  Disaster soon followed.  I now have 5 holes in my wall and they are already pissing me off.  I don't know how to make the shelf stay.  Oh well.

Don't think I am upset about being Clark....he means well.  And I do too.  Especially towards my family.  They would never know it though.  I am a terrible family member.  I hope I turn out to be a better husband and father than brother and son. 

Here are the reasons I want to be Hank Hill

1)  He owns a house with a superb lawn

2)  He is block captain, and all his friends live on the block.

3)  He stands up for what is right

4)  He is a loving husband and a caring father....in his own unemotional way.

5)   He is a  loyal friend who does not judge

6)   He is a true American.....votes......stops at stop signs......a true law obeyor.

7)   He is passionate about his vocation, albeit selling propane and propane accessories

8)   He knows how to fix cars

9)   He lives by a code(see next blog)

I am sure Clark is a lot of these same things, but without the disaster.  I hope to at least master of these.  I don't think hey would be hard.

A misunderstood friend..and a new found hobby.

I was watching King of the Hill today, and I began thinking that Hank Hill is a man I would like to be.  I am sure I am Clark Griswold(see next blog) though.  

In this particular episode, Hank's son Bobby is enrolled to take an auto mechanics course at school.  Hank gets excited and buys him an old junker to refurbish....trying to enstill in Bobby the need to learn self-reliance,  and for Hank, to relieve stress.  Hank lectured to Bobby that when life is going bad, he works on his cars.  I feel that I need somthing of that nature to help me get away, but not with medicine or reclusiveness, but a real hobby. 

I beleive I have recently found my peace in the outdoors.  I feel like a man out there, and because I am pretty much a wuss,  there is much to lear.  My friend Bron is my camping buddy, and he teaches me a lot.  He is a freaking genius when it comes to the outdoors. He rivals my stepdad, and you must understand just to be in the same league is an honor....or at least I feel that way. 

It is one of my life goals is to run a business where city folk come out and learn how to camp and survive.  I am telling you Bron is the shit when is comes to this stuff.  He beat cancer 4 times!....he would kick Chuck Norris' ass( and apparently when Chuck wants an egg, he cracks a chicken, so I would say he is a tough mother)  Needless to say he is a good friend and I look up to him.

He is misunderstood because he is not the brighest tool in the shed, and recently I was told I am his friend because he does not challenge me.  Hear's the deal.  That has nothing to do with it.  I am an intelligent guy, but I don't know shit the things  Bron does.  That has to count for somthing.    And I don't want to be surrounded by intellectuals.....they bore me, and annoy me.

Bron is a good guy.  It hurt my feelings to hear that.  He does not judge, lecture, or abuse.  He is there no matter what.  And that works for me.

Back to the point....In the last year we have been camping several times.  I am starting to get really interested in it.  There is somthing about being in the woods, having very few advantages against the wilderness, and surviving.  (I mean, if you can survive with a tent, a fire, a .44 magnum, a pint of whisky, and enough red meat to drown a shark,  you have problems)  

I must admit that we do two star camping in that we tend to eat very well....but hey, we could kill some rodents if worse came to worse.  All the same I am really looking forward to our next journey.  We are going to Robber's Cave in southeast Oklahoma for 3 days.  Apparently some robbers hid out there.....it was an easy one to name.

It is funny how people are perceived.  I can only imagine what people think of me.  But i have to be honest I probably would have to agree with them either way.  I am out to change that....or at least come to peace with it in the wilderness.

The need for therpy

This all begins at 4:04 am on a Saturday morning.  I haven't seen too many of those in my life.   A chronic cough has impaired the last three weeks of existence, and I am unable to sleep.

I have not written in a long time, and to be honest, I haven't done much of anything in a long time.  I have turned into a anxiety ridden, emotionally brittle, introvert.....cynical, crass, and rude.

I wasn't always this way.  The reason I am writing is to give my thoughts to the world as to not be misunderstood, and also give me a chance to know myself.

I was thinking that when writing there is no filter between brain and page.  When living life, there must be a filter between brain and action.  I believe that I have lost this filter.  I have become no more than a dumb animal, incapable of feelings, cold, only out for self-gain and to fulfill the basic needs of being a man.

I do not like this person.  I hate this person.  It is a continuous circle.  The more I live this way, the worse I feel.  The worse I feel, the worse I act.   Kind of like Fat Bastard I suppose......but hey, Jared did it! ( I heard this guy likes his HD's, if you know what I mean...but he DID lose like 300 pounds...wow)  

So here I am. Exposed.  All out for the world to see.  (I will continue to keep secrets from you, world, because it makes me feel James Bond-ish, and that guy is my hero)

So I hope this therapy works.